When you are a dad to be, it can feel like all of the help and advice you come across online is aimed at mostly at mums. What is it like when you are the dad trying to support your pregnant partner? The husband of our guest blogger, Louise has kindly shared his experiences so far. James and Louise are expecting at the end of August.
Finding out when Louise was pregnant was a shock. We were trying, but not for long; I was just shocked by how quickly it happened. Once the news kicked in I began to feel excited.
The first scan as a ‘dad to be’
The 12-week scan was an amazing experience, one that I will never forget. Seeing the baby on the screen felt very real, watching them jumping and fidgeting around was quite an experience.
Sharing the news
We still kept it very quiet and didn’t tell family till 10 weeks and then friends at 12 weeks. I’m happy that we did it this way because the first 12 weeks you never know what could happen in the early stages of pregnancy. Chatting to close friends that are already parents was great as they offered advice about what happens during pregnancy in regards to the baby, we were given spare clothes and it was just nice to have someone to talk to.
We started planning the nursery and getting a checklist ready of what we would want for ourselves, the baby room, clothes and so on, that’s just the organisers in Louise and I. I don’t want us to be rushed in June/July as the due date approaches. We most likely started early as we have been at home in lockdown. It’s been easy to research websites and articles about the best products.
Missing the 20-week scan due to the coronavirus was disappointing as I couldn’t be there. The scan photos came out so clear, which we were happy about and almost made up for it. The baby’s body parts were more defined and the way Louise described the experience helped. I am glad we have decided to wait and not find out what we are having, although I have a feeling it might be a boy!
Recommended Reading for a dad to be
I have a couple of books that I highly recommend reading. They help you to understand what is happening to your partner during her pregnancy, and what you can do to help, or start thinking about buying or doing to the house. One of these books are:
–The expectant dad’s survival guide, everything you need to know, Rob Kemp. I enjoyed reading the quotes from other dads and their experiences.
As a dad to be, what are your main worries/fears?
At first, I didn’t think there was going to be many fears about becoming a father, but once there was one, there was another fear and I started thinking about what scared me more.
How do I keep Louise safe from the virus, once the baby has arrived, how we manage with the threat of the virus, visitors, and me going back to work and catching the virus. There are still so many unknowns. But we have managed so far being very strict with social distancing and staying at home. I’ve been doing the food shop so Louise doesn’t have to. We will most likely have to remain strict once the baby has arrived so we don’t catch anything and stay safe. By that, I mean mainly being selective with visitors. We would want to still take the baby out but keep our distance.
I assume all fathers have this worry. Will I be able to support my partner and my family?
I know that we are financially stable at the moment, but there’s always that fear that something might happen to our job, unexpected house problems, bills and so on whilst still providing for Louise whilst she is at home on maternity leave. I just want to provide the best life for my family.
Being a Father
I know that I will be a great father, but will I be able to if our baby is tired or ill? Will I struggle with feeding and changing? I know at first it will be tough, but it will be a learning curve, and I cannot wait to start.
Being a first-time father is exciting and I cannot wait for the challenges ahead.
THANK YOU SO MUCH JAMES AND LOUISE
Are you a dad to be? What are your experiences so far? Why not leave a comment below and share your stories?
Newborn Love are leading newborn photographers in Hertfordshire. There are plenty of helpful blogs on our website for those expecting or who have just had their babies including: